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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23634847">Head Above Water</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Babylawyer/pseuds/Babylawyer'>Babylawyer</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Having It All [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Once Upon a Time (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Doctor verse, F/M, Pandemic - Freeform, Stay Home</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 19:22:28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,416</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23634847</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Babylawyer/pseuds/Babylawyer</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Doctors Mills and Locksley struggle to get through the pandemic</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Evil Queen | Regina Mills/Robin Hood</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Having It All [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1250471</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>23</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Head Above Water</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>End the shutdown was trending the other day and I got mad and this happened.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Being a doctor during this pandemic is absolute hell. Watching as all the wrong actions are taken, knowing what is to come and being fucking powerless to stop it.</p><p>Delivering babies gets scarier. She's worried about what they are getting exposed to, every preemie with fragile lungs who has to stay she agonizes over. She wonders <em>what if</em> with each one she loses.</p><p>She doesn't cut much anymore, they cancel all the surgeries they can, they discharge patients left and right to make room, ensuring no one is put at risk who doesn't have to be. It's not a choice that they have, but they give it to every patient they can.</p><p>Their efforts don't do enough though. They are grossly unprepared which only becomes more obvious as people ignore their recommendations, as travel and mass gatherings continue.</p><p>She and Robin stop watching the news early on, cannot stand to see people downplay the risks and compare it to influenza.</p><p>The president is a fucking idiot, something they've always known but comes even more apparent as he does nothing to help them, to protect them, or even to attempt to flatten the curve.</p><p>Their state falls behind, her old home, New York, is shut down, and she hears the horror stories from her former colleagues, but still, Washington state doesn't close non-essential businesses until the end of March.</p><p>They are screwed. There is not enough–not enough staff, not enough beds, not enough equipment and not enough PPE. Their hospital is one of the worst for that. Turns out they somehow only have a one week supply of PPE, just one fucking week when everyone in the medical community has known this would blow up for months; it's absurd and unconscionable. She has a set of N95's she donates immediately, as do others, but it's not enough to combat the gross incompetence of their management and the lack of supply.</p><p>She's enraged at nearly everything, sees people out in equipment they don't need and are using improperly and her blood boils. She protects the public from her risk, and only goes out when absolutely necessary, but soon has to stop going out at all after she absolutely loses it on this woman who makes a snippy comment that Regina's surgical mask won't protect her.</p><p>She works and sleeps, then goes back in and repeats. The days are long and hard, and they only get worse. They run short-staffed every day as someone new is sent home with a cough or fever. They see the worst of this disease and live in fear, not of getting it, they've all essentially resigned themselves to that inevitability, it's just a question of when, how severe, and how patients and colleagues they pass it onto.</p><p>Tensions are high and everyone is doing the best they can, but it is not enough. Then supplies start to run out, and Gold does even worse than he has been as their chief of staff—something she wouldn't have thought was possible—and prioritizes the safety of doctors over nurses, as if one life means more than another, leaving their colleagues unprotected and exposed.</p><p>She finds out from an ER nurse who is maskless and gownless, and she's utterly appalled, but gets pulled into emergency surgery, where she feels almost guilty for wearing her surgical mask, since apparently that's the only form of protection they have left for their nurses (if you can even call it that).</p><p>By the time she finishes she's in hour twenty of her shift and is due back the next afternoon. The scalding shower she takes before leaving is the only thing that keeps her awake enough to make it the five-minute walk home. She touches nothing, the door opens automatically with her fob which she meticulously sanitizes and she uses her elbow to hit the elevator button, which she then wipes down with the disinfectant wipes she keeps on her person at all times. She breathes into the cloth mask a resident of her building sewed for her, and doesn't take it off until she's in her apartment. She finds Robin asleep in their bed (they thought about trying to keep apart, but with all the stress they need each other and they'd both be down if one of them got it anyway). She snuggles in beside him, careful not to wake him, and he's gone by the time she wakes up.</p><p>She doesn't see him at all that shift, doesn't really think on it until she finds out second hand that her husband has been <em>fired</em> for broadcasting their awful working conditions.</p><p>She is livid, but there are patients to treat, and she pushes it all down until she can leave and rush home.</p><p>She reads his post on the way home, he didn't say anything that wasn't true, had openly scolded Gold for his mismanagement which is deserved, brought much needed attention to their plight, which blew up on social media.</p><p>In a fucking crisis where there is a shortage of healthcare professionals, Robin got fired. She wants so badly to quit in protest, to show Gold, but she can't, not with what's happening.</p><p>How could he do that? Robin called him out, but so what? What kind of a message does that send?</p><p>She used to love working at this hospital but now it's tarnished, and she can never look at it the same way again.</p><p>Robin's waiting for her when she gets there, sitting in the armchair, a glass of whiskey in his hand that she can tell from his eyes isn't his first. She sits down onto his lap and wraps her arms around him, tells him she's sorry, her heart breaking as he starts to sob.</p><p>When his shoulders stop shaking, she gets up and off of him only long enough to refill his glass and pour herself one, then she settles back onto his lap, sipping at her drink as her free hand trails his face, his arm, his back.</p><p>"I knew I was going to get in shit for that. I knew there was the potential for this, but it was worth the risk if it saved even one person but…" he sniffles and pulls her in tighter, "I didn't think he would actually…"</p><p>"I'm so sorry, Robin."</p><p>"I have to… I already contacted that field hospital they are going to set up and offered my time. I need to make a few more calls. I can't just sit here when…"</p><p>He doesn't have to say anymore, she knows and tells him such. They sit, and drink and mourn, then they are off to bed, together for the first time in ages. She holds him close as they fall asleep.</p><p>In the morning she heads back to work. They didn't talk about how he felt about it, didn't need to, he understands more than anyone why she has to go back.</p><p>She delivers four babies that day to scared mothers who do not want to be there, one of whom tried to have her baby at home and almost lost it because of that. She wonders, not for the first time, how many more of those cases she'll see, and worse how many more will come in too late.</p><p>She walks by a nurse she doesn't recognize who is bawling and while she knows she should try and offer some comfort, she has nothing to say. There is nothing that makes this better, so she walks away. She tells herself someone else will help that girl, that she will be okay, even though they are all far from okay.</p><p>When she gets off work, Robin is gone, already started at a nearby hospital who was in desperate need of people.</p><p>They see less and less of each other as time goes on. Robin works directly with COVID patients now, as does she some of the time, but it's not her primary job, so he moves his stuff into the guest room, uses the guest bathroom. They try to keep their contaminated areas separate as much as possible, get tested when they can, which is rarer than they'd like because they are asymptomatic, a blessing but still a concern.</p><p>They really try to keep their distance because they have very different exposures now, but some days it is too much to handle alone. The first day she loses a baby because the mother had the virus and delivered too soon, she bawls in the scalding shower, then in his arms.</p><p>He's waiting for her one day when she gets home, on the couch this time, and it scares the hell out of her. She knows he would have paged her if he was sick, so she waits for the bad news, waits to hear who has died now because of this terrible illness.</p><p>It's news of a different sort, his half-sister Emma called. She never ever calls, so the worry floods Regina first until Robin explains.</p><p>Robin's only met Emma twice, at his father's funeral when his dad's double life was revealed and when he hunted her down to try and make a connection she was uninterested in. He sends her money for her son, Henry, but that's all she will allow.</p><p>"I need to…" he starts, and she itches to get closer to him, but she stays a solid ten feet back because she hasn't changed out of her outdoor clothes yet. "She works with the public, she's high risk, I told her to quit her job."</p><p>She knows what he's asking, and of course they can send her more. "We'll do whatever we can."</p><p>"She asked me… she has no one. She asked me to take Henry if something happens to her."</p><p>That's… wow. She's never even let Robin meet Henry, this is serious, and it makes her wonder, "High risk how? And you said yes, right?"</p><p>Then she curses herself for asking two questions when he only answers the second. "Yeah, I had to, he's family and—"</p><p>"Robin, look at me. I'm glad you did."</p><p>He sighs, "I still, I should have asked you first."</p><p>"No! I would have said yes, you know that, you know me."</p><p>"It's just, it all got put on hold, and we didn't get a chance to talk more about it."</p><p>It did, they were supposed to have an appointment with the social worker in mid-February to get evaluated as adoptive parents but they had to cancel, it was not the right time. Though it's highly unlikely they would have gotten a baby if they went through with it, they couldn't take that chance. They said they'd call when this is over, and that's still the plan.</p><p>"Exactly, <em>on hold.</em> You want a family, I want a family, whatever way we get a family I will be happy."</p><p>Then realizes what she's said and backtracks, "Oh god, I didn't mean, I want your sister to be okay, I'm not wishing—"</p><p>"Darling, I know, I know."</p><p>She needs to be close to him, he's distressed something more is going on but she needs to get out of these clothes. "Can I just… give me ten minutes."</p><p>He nods, "Of course, I'll be here."</p><p>Once she's stripped and showered, she settles on the couch next to him, she should keep space, but dammit it's been a long, hard day. He strokes her hair in the soothing way he always does, which makes some of her tension melt away.</p><p>"So tell me about what she said."</p><p>Her hand finds his thigh and squeezes reassuringly as his fingers dance down her neck. His eyes light up, "She said I can <em>meet him</em>. That she wants me to know him just in case. We're going to do a video chat later in the week, and that when, well she said if, but she's a pessimist, that when we get out of this I—we can meet him for real."</p><p>"That's great."</p><p>He smiles, "It really is."</p><p>She's still curious though, doesn't know much about Emma, nothing about her health. "Why is she so worried?"</p><p>"She has a bone marrow disease, polycythemia vera, recently diagnosed, and… she's pregnant."</p><p>"Oh god, when's she due?"</p><p>"September first."</p><p>Well, that's a relief, hospitals should be safe by then. But, "Is she… how's she doing? What kind of treatments are they doing? How's the baby?"</p><p>"Mild treatment is working for now. And he's okay, it's another boy. He's okay for now, but it's risky."</p><p>"And the father?"</p><p>"She didn't say except that he's out of the picture."</p><p>"Okay, we'll do whatever we can."</p><p>He smiles and echos, "'Whatever we can."</p><p>It's two weeks before they have their Skype date with Henry, and they get to meet the adorable five-year-old who instantly steals their hearts. They have one, then another and another and talking to him, and the photos and videos Emma sends them, are the one shining light in this dark time.</p><p>They make plans to meet in person, never solid ones, but they give them hope, something to look forward to.</p><p>She gets the 911 page from Robin mid-April and she <em>knows</em>. He had a headache the day before which she attributed to stress, they both did, and he's been exhausted, but they both have been, having worked so much lately.</p><p>Robin has a fever, will get his test back in three days, but she knows in her gut he's got it. They self isolate separately but by the time he gets his positive result, she's lost her sense of taste and smell.</p><p>Robin's symptoms are mild, meanwhile, she coughs so hard she strains her intercostal and spends days gasping for breath with so much weight on her chest she forgets what it's like to be able to breathe normally.</p><p>There are three days that really scare her, where Robin checks her stats every hour and watches her like a hawk. She thanks god she married another doctor and can ride this out at home without endangering her friends and colleagues.</p><p>Slowly but surely, she recovers, gets back on her feet. It takes a while but eventually, she gets back to work. She lets the thoughts of meeting Henry, maybe even his brother push her through the bad days. Thinks about their future and how one day she and Robin will adopt their own baby. She clings to those hopes and dreams until they can become a reality.</p><p>Then, she lives them.</p>
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